10,000 Interviews Later: What I Want Every Woman in Tech to Know About Negotiation

Tue, July 14, 2026 1:57 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

Haley Scruggs is a Career & Confidence Coach and AWS-Certified Technical Recruiter with 10 years of experience on both sides of the hiring table. She's conducted 10,000+ interviews, navigated four layoffs of her own, and now helps high-achieving women in corporate get clear, get confident, and land roles that actually feel good.

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Quick question, dearest reader: What do you think of when you hear the word "negotiation"?

For a lot of the women I coach, that word alone triggers a full-body cringe. The fear of getting "caught" asking for too much and having the offer rescinded. Terrified of being labeled difficult, greedy, or ungrateful (or even worse…not negotiating and then finding out your male counterpart did and makes way more than you)...

If that's you, I want to gently reframe something for you:

Negotiation is not a personality trait, or a whole big show. It's not something you're either "born with" or not. 

It's a SKILL. And like every skill, it takes practice, time, confidence, and reps.


What I Want You To Know

Let me acknowledge something first: the job market right now is not built up to empower candidates to ask for (or get) what they want.

You are not crazy. This market IS crazy. Rejection feels heavier. Silence feels louder. And every time you try to negotiate, part of you probably wonders if you should just be grateful for any offer at all.

I hear you. And I'm here to tell you that negotiating still matters. Maybe more than ever.

Here's why:

Your salary is not linked to your self-worth. BUT…how much you're willing to ask for is often a direct reflection of how much you believe you deserve. And practicing the ask, again and again, is one of the most direct ways to build trust in your ability to communicate your skills, value, & get things you didn’t think you could. 

You also have more leverage than this market wants you to think you do. Companies EXPECT to pay more for external hires than they do for internal ones (which is exactly why so many folks end up leaving good companies to get raises they couldn't get internally). This is baked into how compensation works. It is not a secret.  

Use it.

And if you're feeling nervous about opening the door to a negotiation, here's the lowest-friction phrase I know:

"Is there room to negotiate?"

That's it. That's the whole ask. It gives the recruiter a chance to be honest about the offer, if they haven’t already.  And if there's no room, we'll tell you.

We're not offended. We're not surprised. Most of the time, we've been waiting for you to ask.


The Power Shifts After the Offer

Here's what most job seekers don't realize:

The moment a company extends you an offer, they have already decided you're the person they want.

AND…this is the most leverage you'll have as an employee. Once you join a company, you're locked into salary bands, bureaucracy, & the company's internal systems. So the more you can get up front, the better.

I know in today's market it's easy to feel grateful for anything and say yes before it falls through…but I assure you that negotiation is a part of the process.

By the time that offer hits your inbox (or ears), YOU have the leverage.

Oooo, GIRL…Don't waste it.


What You Can Actually Negotiate

When most people think about negotiating, they only think about base salary.

Base salary matters (get as much up front as you can, because it compounds). But there is SO much more on the table:

  • Sign-on bonus — a one-time payment for joining (& my fave go-to if base salary isn't flexible). This doesn't affect ongoing salary, which makes it easier for companies to approve. I've seen sign-on bonuses range from $500 to $15K+.

  • Annual bonus percentage — even a small % increase compounds every year (you should always clarify about a bonus program if not mentioned). 

  • Equity / stock — RSUs vs stock options land differently. If you're being offered equity, know exactly what you're getting, the vesting schedule, and what happens if you leave early. (I've always considered stock options as "monopoly money" - it's a great bonus on the rare chance you stay through the vested period, but chances of getting to reap those benefits are not a sure thing.)

  • Extra PTO — more time off = better life. Sometimes easier to get than a salary bump.

  • Flexible schedule or remote days — huge quality-of-life win, & great to negotiate if your company has a required number of days in office, etc.

  • Professional development budget — for conferences, courses, certifications. Have a career coach you're wanting to hire (wink wink) - ask if the company will cover it. So many companies don't have a L&D budget but will happily cover things as they come up.

  • Maternity/Parental Leave — Many companies have set policies, but I've seen them negotiated for more weeks, better pay during leave, & more flexibility around returning. If you're planning to grow your family (or might be), this is HUGE to advocate for while you still have the leverage of a new hire.

  • Title adjustment — titles matter for your future career trajectory, even if the pay is the same (although careful, as I've seen this backfire… you don't want to get stuck in a higher title and workload without getting paid for it).

  • Growth path in writing — if they mention a possible promotion, GET the timeline and criteria documented in writing. If your boss leaves or things change, you have the paper trail.


The Three Rules I Live By

After 10 years on the recruiter side of the table, here are the three rules I always come back to. Candidates who use them consistently walk away with better outcomes than the ones who don't.

Here they are:

Rule 1: Never be the first to give a number.

When a recruiter asks "what's your target salary range?", flip it back:

"What's the approved salary range for this role?"

Or, if it's on the job description:

"I saw the salary ranges posted, can you confirm what the approved range is for this role?"

If you've discussed it before and they're revisiting:

"I know we talked about the approved range a while back. How has the range shifted since then?"

And, it never hurts to straight up ask: "Is this range open to negotiation?"

(Fun fact: I've never seen a role get scoped DOWN. I've seen plenty scoped UP. Always worth asking.)

Rule 2: If they claim they "don't know" the range yet, great. Neither do you.

"I'm applying to a lot of roles and finding a big discrepancy across the market. Once you can share the approved salary range and what's included in the package, I'll have a better idea how to answer."

More times than not, they DO have a range. Them dodging is sometimes more proof they want your answer first.

Rule 3: When you DO share a number, give a range, never a fixed number.

Anchor toward your IDEAL, not your bare minimum.

A recruiter should NEVER know your true bottom line. Even the nice ones. Even the ones who genuinely want to advocate for you (they exist, and I love them). Because recruiters ultimately work for their company, not for you.

Wanting $150K? Say "I'm targeting $150-170K."

Put your real target at the LOW end of the range.

Now…before you panic that this could price you out of a role, know this: this only works if you've done your homework. Your "ideal" has to align with what the market actually pays for your role, at the size and stage of the company you're targeting. Anchor at YOUR realistic ideal, not so far above market that you rule yourself out. (More on how to figure that out in the next section.)


The Tactical Question I Get Asked Constantly

"But Haley, what do I put when the application MAKES me enter a number? And how do I even know what my 'ideal range' should even be?"

As always, you need to know your value so you can clearly articulate it to the company.

Do your research first.

Glassdoor. Levels.fyi. LinkedIn Salary. AI tools like ChatGPT. Your own friends. 

Then enter a number (ideally a range) that anchors toward your IDEAL, with a buffer built in. Not your walk-away. Not your bare minimum.

Because whatever you put in that box becomes the anchor for the entire rest of the conversation.


The Real Skill Is Being Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Negotiation is a conversation. But here's the real skill inside it:

Negotiation is really just a game of how comfortable you are being uncomfortable.

In the silence. In the waiting. In the asking & curious exploration, rather than people-pleasing with an immediate answer.

It's a skill you can absolutely build. Through preparation. Through practice conversations (with a friend, a coach, or even ChatGPT). Through actually doing it, badly and awkwardly at first, and getting better every single time.

You are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you.

Don't forget it.

The Line I Live By

You don't get what you don't ask for.

And sometimes, you don't get what you DO ask for. But it's through the asking that you will develop confidence, self-trust, and maybe even delight at what you learn and receive because of it.

So if you're navigating an offer right now, my love, please don't skip this step.

Even if you're terrified. Even if you feel like an imposter. Even if "you don't do this."

Feel the fear and ask anyway.

About the Author

Feeling stuck in your job search or ready to stop leaving money on the table? Connect with her on LinkedIn or grab a free strategy call here!

If you'd like to contribute to the AWT blog please contact PR Director Leslie M. Dill 


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